Church shopping

I've been doing some thinking on the idea that the Church is an all-volunteer army. The idea is that we sit down and select the church that we want to belong to, and that we should continue to go to that church until someone or something there offends us enough to send us "shopping." We then repeat the process, finding the church that best meets our "felt needs" that is also within reasonable driving distance. Not exactly biblical, if you ask me.

If this is the situation you find yourself in, I would like to point out an approach that may be beneficial to you. The Sacred Sandwich reports that Lucy Ditmer, a professional personal shopper, may be able to help you out.

From the article:

Growing bored with the outdated programs at their present church, the Henman family of Peoria, IL, recently hired Lucy Ditmer, a personal shopper, to find them a new church home to meet their spiritual needs. “Between my boy’s hockey games and my girl’s dance classes, I really don’t have the time to go church shopping,” said Helen Henman. “It’s a great relief to know that Lucy can take care of all that. The last thing Phil and I want to do right now is spend every Sunday morning going to strange churches just to see if they have cushioned seating and a proper food court.”

You can read the rest of the article here, and I should warn you. The satire may hit a little close to home at times.