Different, only similar

According to Ron Burgundy, "diversity is an old, old wooden ship that was used during the Civil War era." As absurd as his definition is, our culture can't do much better. This word is thrown around in board rooms, on college campuses, in coffee shops, and even in elementary schools, without anyone really knowing what the word means. It is so commonly used that we assume everyone knows what we're talking about, but I might suggest that it doesn't really mean anything.

This point was made on a recent episode of The Simpsons, in which Principal Skinner gets himself in trouble for a chauvinistic remark about how girls are bad at math. In trying to recover, he makes the following announcement the next morning at school:

Skinner: Today, we celebrate the first of many, many, many, many diversity forums. Why is it that women "appear" to be worse at math than men? What is the source of this "illusion" or as I call it, the biggest lie ever told.
Lindsey Naegle: You're a worse version of Hitler!
Skinner: Please believe me. I-I understand the problem of women. (he moves from behind the podium revealing he's wearing a purple dress and purple heels) See. (the audience gasps)
Nelson: Ha, ha! (sing-songy) The principal's a tranny.
Skinner: Am I wearing women's clothes? I didn't notice. When I look in my closet, I don't see male clothes or female clothes. They're all the same.
Edna Krabappel: Are you saying that men and women are identical?
Skinner: Oh, no, of course not! Women are unique in every way.
Lindsey Naegle: Now he's saying men and women aren't equal!
Skinner: No, no, no! It's the differences of which there are none that makes the sameness exceptional. Just tell me what to say! (he starts to breathe heavily then pass out)
Chalmers: Oh dear. Um, attention students. Due to nervous exhaustion and diarrhea of the mouth… (the students start laughing) Yes, yes, yes. I said diarrhea.

In trying to appease the PC crowd, Skinner uncovers the internal absurdity of the "diversity" camp. Our educational system trains our young people to celebrate the "cultural diversity" that exists in our country, and then tells them that we are all the same. Our children are taught that boys and girls are, save a few differences in the plumbing, exactly the same, and then they enroll in Women's Lit classes so they can read literature by authors that are exactly the same as another group of authors. Or, as Principal Skinner put it, "It's the differences of which there are none that makes the sameness exceptional." Indeed.

As the saying goes, you can't have your cake and eat it, too. The diversity police would like for us all to admit that everyone is exactly the same, and also that we should celebrate our wonderful differences. Huh?!?

The problems begin when you introduce a heaping dose of cultural relativism into your understanding of the differences between cultures. That's where the PC crowd lives. The a priori fact that all cultures are equally valid comes first, and this sounds like a good idea, at least on the surface. Canadian culture is just as "valid" as Spanish, or Chinese, or Nigerian, or whatever. Kumbaya, that sounds great. That is, until you introduce history's favorite whipping boys, the Nazis. If you are drinking the politically correct kool aid, you've stumbled into a problem at this point. You need to either hold your ground, admitting that the Nazis are neither superior nor inferior to, say, Canadians, or you need to admit that on some level, according to some sort of standard, the Nazis are "worse" than the Canadians because they killed millions of innocent people. Oh, but if you've made that step, than you've begun to judge people and cultures against an objective standard that doesn't exist. You see the dilema.

Next thing you know, you're saying that smart kids are better than dumb kids, wonderfully advanced cultures are better than cultures stuck in the middle ages, and now only the team that wins goes home with a trophy! Who could stand to live in such a world? Instead, we glorify the differences (of which there are none!) in our multicultural celebrations, and insist that everyone is exactly the same. In the end, diversity doesn't mean anything because the idea it is supposed to represent is self-contradicting and completely implausible in the real world.