"Dude, we're cool."

Following Eugene Peterson's lead, ¹ I will now paraphrase Mark 2:1-12 in my own words. Will my own biases and opinions show through in my paraphrase? Heck yes they will. I plan on telling you what I think God was saying, not what he actually said. I'd hate for you to be bored while reading the scriptures, so I've jazzed things up a bit. Without further ado, the Message for today…

---

Mark 2:1-12
¹Jesus headed back to his hometown, and it wasn't long before everyone knew he was back. ²The place where Jesus was crashing was packed, and people had to wait in line before even coming inside. Jesus was in the middle of everything, and he talked to them about God. ³Four guys had a friend who couldn't walk. They threw him in their handicapped-accessible van and drove over to the party that Jesus was at. ⁴When they pulled up and saw people standing out in the lawn, they realized that they would need a "Plan B." They climbed up onto the roof, and they cut a big fat hole in it right above the living room. Once the sawdust had cleared, they dropped their friend, wheelchair and all, right down in front of Jesus. ⁵Jesus couldn't believe that these guys had just ripped apart the roof of the house, just so that their buddy could get noticed by him. He turned to the crippled guy and said, "Dude, we're cool." ⁶Some of the people that were there weren't exactly down with what Jesus had said. ⁷"That was not cool," they whispered. "The Big Guy is the only one who can decide if someone is cool or not. Who does Jesus think he is, talking like that?" ⁸Jesus knew that these guys would be pissed, so he called them out on it. "I'm standing right here. Don't you think I can hear you guys? ⁹You think it's a big deal that I told this guy he's cool with me? If I wanted to, I could tell him to get up and walk around the room, and he would. I could snap my fingers and cure every sick person here. Leprosy? Boom goes the dynamite. Blindness? Don't get me started. Then, there's that guy who terrorizes the clerk at the 7-11 every night because he's possessed by demons — Hey, Tom, how are you tonight? Good? Good. — I'd make the old priest in The Exorcist look like an amateur. You name it, I can fix it. But, what good would it do for me to deal with all of these healthcare issues? I'm not here to do magic tricks and make you all feel special. I came to deal with the real problem. I'm here to make things cool between you and the Man Upstairs. ¹⁰But, I know you won't believe me unless I prove it." ¹¹So, he turned to the paralyzed guy and said, "Dude, get out of that chair and head home. You can walk." ¹²And that's exactly what he did. He folded up his wheelchair and bolted for the door. Everyone that was there said, "This is the best party I've ever been to. Jesus is the man."